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Evil Maria

This is one of my favourites out of all my songs. I wrote the words when I was on holiday in Greece with my girlfriend at the time. The place we were staying at had a tiny square outside where the local women would let their brats out to play (make a lot of noise) as soon as it was light. And occasionally one of the women would shout out of the window at their kid. VERY LOUDLY.
This meant that it was very hard to sleep whenever the sun was up. I imagined that 'Maria' was a good Greek name for one of these women.
There were several days when my girlfriend would hassle me to tidy up the sink or something when I just wanted to read my book (being on holiday) and wouldn't leave me alone until whatever it was that she wanted was done.
'Evil Maria' also sounds like 'Ave Maria', which is the Latin version of 'Hail Mary'. I like the twisting of something that is supposed to be used for good into something bad.
'Evil Maria' is also a character in the classic German film 'Metropolis', but that was an accidental association!
The final, and possibly most important inspiration is the classic ZX Spectrum game 'Jet Set Willy'. The storyline went something like this;
Miner Willy has become rich and so he builds a mansion. He has a house-warming party and afterwards heads towards bed. Unfortunately, his house-maid, Maria won't let him go to bed until he has cleared up all the glasses around the house.
The Tool Shed, The Orangery, The Conservatory, The Banyan Tree and We Must Perform A Quirkafleeg! are all rooms in the game.


I need some shuteye! I need some shuteye!
I need some shuteye! I need some shuteye!

Come in in the morning with a screaming headache,
There's no two ways about it, you've been staying up late.
Try to win her over with a smile that's fake,
Maria controls the bedroom and the house is in a state.

There's absolutely no way she'll let you go to bed,
She's coming down on you like a tonne of lead.
Don't you try and think of sleeping in the tool shed,
She wouldn't even let you rest if you were dead!

Evil Maria's got a house to keep.
Evil Maria won't let you get not sleep.
Evil Maria's problems number two.
Evil Maria! Start and end with you.

Don't get stuck half way up the Banyan tree.
Can you get the glass in the conservatory?
You will end up falling from the orangery.
Let's all perform a Quirkafleeg!

I need some shuteye! I need some shuteye!
I need some shuteye! I need some shuteye!